Band: Alien Vampires

Album: Nuns are Pregnant EP

Album Year: 2007

Label: Koldfinger

Genre(s): Terror EBM, Power Noise, Dark-Electro

Band Website: www.alienvampires.com

Rating: 8.5/10

If you are anything like me then you have been desperately searching for some good, hard, and evil terror EBM. It has been a very, very long time since I have heard some good terror EBM and even longer since I have heard good NEW terror EBM. But, I believe I have finally found what I have been searching for, and it is Alien Vampires. Yeah ok so you might say “well that is a fucking gay name”, and ok, yeah it’s not the greatest or most original name but it sure fucking beats Total Pain Kollapz. To briefly sum up Alien Vampires, think: black metal guys make trance. Yep, I know it’s what the fuck. Just go with it. I have read that some or all of the members of AV are in the black metal/industrial band Aborym, and the black metal influence is quite obvious on their latest EP “Nuns Are Pregnant”.

It is quite obvious to see the black metal influence on EP from the artwork to the blasphemous theme(s), to the vocals. Personally I am fucking glad. For so long I have felt that “terror” EBM to be lacking in the evil department. I could never understand why all these bands use “screamy” distorted vocals when they aren’t singing about anything remotely evil or anger based or occult or what have you. Why would you want to sound harsh or demonic if you don’t care about that sort of thing? Anyway, no bullshit from this band; only nun fucking.

Musically, the album is solid on all fronts. The EP opens up with a powerful and ominous vocal ooh and some excellent samples of screams and the like. Then it fucking kicks in full force with…what…trance!? Yeah that’s right assholes, trance. Think Distorted Memory, but a lot more interesting. Anyway a lot of people would probably see this as a negative thing, but it genuinely works, I promise. This beats the shit out of Distorted Memory on so many levels. The beat on this track as well as the other three is very  pounding and upbeat. Each song drips with great and driving bass. The synths are a bit sporadic; there are some good strong leads, but they are only used in key moments and AV do not overwhelm their songs with synths. Unfortunately, there are no real melodies. Most of the tracks are very beat-driven. But, it’s quite impossible to sit still while listening to this. The second track “Nuns are Pregnant” has a harder/more power-noise-esque beat to it, which gives the album even more credibility. When the lead synth kicks in, this track is absolutely KILLER. When I think “club friendly”, this is the kind of shit that comes to mind…e.g. hard driving beats that make you want to punch people in the face. If this shit doesn’t take over the club scene then terror EBM is fucking dead and there is no hope for industrial music. Anyway back to the music. I absolutely love Alien Vampire’s vocals. Very black metal inspired, very demonic and legitimately evil. Too bad they are only used minimally throughout the album (think God Module – Inside Out). Regrettably this band is inevitably going to catch a lot of shit from retards who claim they are “ripping off psyclon nine”. Psyclon wants to be black metal, these guys ARE black metal. That’s all I need to say. In my opinion this is where Psyclon should’ve gone after Divine Infekt. But oh wait, there is a fourth track on this CD. I won’t ruin it for you, but if you have ever enjoyed black metal then you will absolutely not be fucking disappointed…hell, just look at the song title.

My only real qualms with this album are: that they sampled “welcome to hell” from Hellraiser, the songs all tend to drag on a bit too long and are basically the repetition of the same 3 or so parts over and over, and that there are so few vocals. I really hope that they include more vocally driven songs on the next full length release and maybe make the tracks a bit more dynamic. Other than that, if they keep doing what they have been the full length will be amazing. While “Nuns are Pregnant” is not the most original or ground breaking album in the world, the fact of the matter is that this EP made me believe in terror EBM again. And I honestly can not stop listening. “Fuck Your Exorcism” is a bit bland, but “Nuns are Pregnant” and “Jesus Christ Buried Alive” are both top notch. So the bottom line is that if you make any claims to enjoying terror EBM then you need to pick this shit up.